I know it has been several months since the last time I wrote, and I was actually planning to come back with a blog about my summer holiday trip in Italy…
However, Breast Cancer happened.
In October 2017,
I felt this lump in my left breast, just under the skin. It felt as if I had some vein blockage so I went to the local GP with a suspicion.
The GP suggested that it probably was benign, but I booked another appointment in three weeks to make sure.
Three weeks later I was back to the GP with the same problem. I was reffered to the breast unit for an Ultra Sound scan and Mammogram. Both the local GP and the surgeon at the breast unit seemed very relaxed and quite confidently said that it would be nothing. Even after mammogram the surgeon told me that the worst case still wouldn’t be cancer. I think it is because having breast cancer at young age is very rare especially without any family history of breast cancer.
I was asked to come back to the hospital the next day for a biopsy, to take samples of some of the breast tissue to assure it was benign.
After a week of wait, one afternoon in November, I visited the breast unit for the third time, also hopefully the last time, with my husband.
“Mrs H!” I heard. Ok, let’s make it quick and go home.
In to the consultation room, and a few minutes later a different surgeon came in. After explaining what I had been through so far to Dan, he broke the news.
“The biopsy results show … cancer.”
Somehow my brain filtered some of his words so I had to ask him to repeat.
“It is… breast cancer.”
“Is it? What?”
“IT IS BREAST CANCER.”
Everything went a little blur for a moment.
The surgeon started to give us a supposedly brief explanation of what to expect in the future, though it was actually quite long and extremely overwhelming. There were an immense number of ifs and buts, potentials and risks, and options. One of the potentials was having further treatments, like chemotherapy. They did not know whether I needed any further treatment on that stage so would have to wait until the mastectomy operation.
According to the surgeon, the initial lump was actually benign. However, the cancer tissues were too tiny to feel but spread all over my left breast- hence the full mastectomy.
I could no longer hold my tears,
when the surgeon told me that I might lose fertility. It’s only a possibility, but still a possibility. As I happened to be one of only few women with breast cancer at young age, every possibility felt as to be quite prophetic.
With all the information bombarding my little brain, I had a moment of doubt that I might be dreaming. It just felt too odd. What do you mean, I have cancer? I am healthy as ever, at least I feel healthy as ever! What? Why? I was so, so confused. I also felt some sort of guilt thinking of my mum. Why do I have to make her go through this, after all that she has gone through…
Dan and I spent the evening telling the news to our family and few of close friends, and trying to take in what we had heard.
That was a long, long day.
One thing we definitely knew though, was that this was just the beginning of a new chapter that would be life changing.
Thanks for reading my somewhat dark and upsetting blog,
but I hope this raises awareness of breast cancer in young women.
I will see you in my next blog, about changes in life by breast cancer.
Bless you all!