Sorry, you have been disconnected.

 

My understanding of friendship is something natural and organic, so when its season ends you have to let it go; though, it may be in a hibernation for how many years until its another season begins.

It’s mainly because, I think, a friendship requires both of you and the other to keep it growing. If it loses the balance, then even one person doing CPR on it wouldn’t bring it back. I remember feeling quite sad to let a friendship come to an end because of that loss of balance, but I knew forcing it would make things even worse.

I am used this sort of stuff because…

I have moved a lot since I was 20.

I’ve moved eight times for the past 7 years and I am getting ready for my 9th move later this year. Moving over to England was a big one, then I kept moving from one house to another, from a city to another, and even a county to another.

With moving, I have made a number of friends in Korea, London, University and few other towns that I lived after my graduation. I also naturally lost connection with lots of them by moving away and starting a new chapter… which is fine!

BUT social media has changed the look of this.

Social media shows you what they have been up to, who they have been with, and where they have been- and guess what,

YOU ARE NOT IN THERE.

You have never been invited back to their life again since the disconnection. Do you know why? You weren’t that important to them. You weren’t a good friend to them and you do not matter. That is how they think of you. NOBODY.

Of course, this is NOT true.

Most of my friendship with them naturally ended up in a disconnection, with or without a reason.

The combination of social media’s exposure of my disconnected friends’ news, the fear of missing out and my desire to be loved by everyone creates this false message of how unimportant I am.

Social media almost brings that sense of gossip to relationships, by being the medium of personal messages. Despite how open you can be on social media, you lose the closeness when you depend on social media to share your life with others. It’s inclusive, but also exclusive. You may share my special moments, that you weren’t invited into. You may look at it, but you are not allowed to touch it.

 

Any solution to this?

A simple one would be… get out and have a life. But we all know how deep social media is related to our everyday life, so it would be very difficult to simply cut down your time on it.

 

Reading, writing, listening, meditating and/or being active,

instead of scrolling down on facebook/instagram, is something I currently am trying. Watching is a very easy alternative, which I am good at it; but that has its own risks and danger, hence, not included.

Another important step forward is, probably to be ok with the disconnection; like, actually okay, not just pretending. Though, I think it depends on every single person in your friendships; I found some disconnections harder to take than others, because of how much I liked them and cared about the friendships. All subjective.

I doubt I will avoid that initial sadness when facing another disconnection in the future. However, to know that they still remain my friends and that I should cherish those flourishing friendships will help me live in the moment and embrace the disconnection.

On that note… I send my Thanks to my old & new friends, for making my life full of beautiful colours. 

Thank you for reading, and bless you today.

xx

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My 5th blog … with hope

I must say this is like my 5th blog that I have started, if I remember correctly. The past blogs lost their place in my heart, though I am still keeping the last one for its potential.

My 5th blog.

I am an idea person, and very good at starting something. When an idea strikes my brain, I feel electric and cannot wait to start making this idea real. I work on it passionately. I think about it day and night.

However, I am NOT so good at finishing what I have started. The passion somehow fades away. There is this fairy in my head who comes along and switching things off. It is difficult to explain WHY these ideas die out before they reach the reality to bear fruits, but it happens.

And oh, the shame!

I really hate giving up, so everytime that switching off happens the shame hits me hard. “You are giving up AGAIN.” “Shame on you.” “Is there anything that you actually finish?”

“You have failed.”

It really hurts.

Though the funny thing is, no one eles actually says that to me, but myself. I think to myself, “People will think I am…….” and add all sorts of horrible things and believe that is true. The social pressure that is almost fake, has been put on me by my own self.

After my passion faded away on the 4th, I set a time to figure out WHY it didn’t work this time. WHAT IS WRONG?

Then one thought pops up in my head- I was trying to please other people, ignoring myself. I wanted other people to like it, so gave it a renovation work, knocking few core pillars down; People like a clear theme, weekly posts, cool photos and tips to take away.

All for what? SO MORE PEOPLE VISIT MY BLOG AND LIKE ME.

For that glory, I did rush rush and rush a dozen of things at once. Trying to sprint a marathon with more weight on my shoulders every mile did exhaust me very quickly. Simplicity was lost somewhere in the process and my pleasure of writing dried out.

Ah.

Yes, I know there are some people who enjoy and are good at writing for a certain target audience with all sorts of social media, and become successful with it- but that is NOT me.

I like writing up what is in my head in my own time and in my own words, and it may not be the mainstream or the conventional blog style… and now I realise,

that is okay.

Life may take me away from this blog, like it did to the past ones, then drag its season to an end; but that is fine too.

Quite often I let things that aren’t important bully my mind and damage my soul, which has got to stop NOW. It will take time and effort but I will be more intentional to liberate myself from them.

Anyway, with all those new season resolutions I am happy to start a new blog, where I can be completely myself and blossom my beatiful & wild self.

You are very welcome to be part of this season. I am glad you are here with me.

Thank you for reading, and bless you today.

xx